Our need to be “liked”

If I were to ask you where you turn for your validation, what would you say?

Is it in what other people say or think about you? Is it how many friends you have? Is it in your money or possessions?

In 2021 with social media playing such a huge role in our daily lives, it seems like how much we feel liked depends on the amount of people that take the time to press a “thumbs up emoji” or if you are really lucky maybe they will press a “heart emoji”.

Let me just tell you here and now, that if you are counting just how liked or loved you are on a daily basis from a response on social media, then you are getting your validation from the wrong place and from people that you may not even care to have validation from in the first place.

Let me be the first to tell you that I often fall victim to this trap myself. It is so easy to do so if we don’t guard against it because it seems like everyday that more and more people seek to get their validation from people that they, for the most part don’t even interact with on a daily basis and if they had a chance to do so, they wouldn’t even bother to do it!!

Why is it that we feel bad if we post a new profile picture and only get 11 likes? Why do we then ask, do I not look good? Why did people not take the time to like it? We start to come to the conclusion that something is wrong with us, we aren’t good enough or for some reason people just don’t care.

NONE of that is true!!!

Just because someone doesn’t like your photo, comment on your vacation pictures or congratulate you on your new relationship, it doesn’t mean that they don’t care or they aren’t happy for you.

It just means that they are busy and they have a lot going on in their own lives, but regardless their approval should not have a real bearing on our happiness.

Regardless of why people do or don’t like or give us the validation that we might be looking for, you have to ask yourself the question, “Why am I posting this or doing this? And what am I truly hoping to gain from this affirmation?”

If you are doing something on social media just to get a response from people and receive a warm and fuzzy feeling on that platform that you may not be receiving in your real day-to-day life then you are setting yourself up for failure.

That’s a lesson that most people will learn the hard way, myself included.

Your true friends will keep up with you and not do so by just seeing stuff posted on your wall. They will take the time to call, text, see you in person and make an effort that requires more than the use of their thumb to scroll through your latest update. Those are your true friends and the people that God put into your life for a reason.

There is nothing wrong with having acquaintances and causal friends but it’s time that we learned the difference in a true friend and a “Facebook Friend”

In all actuality what does it matter if not many people commented or liked the pictures you took yesterday of your lunch that you thought was so good? They didn’t eat it!

So what if not many people commented or liked the pictures and videos of you and your kids on vacation? They weren’t there!!!

So what if not many people liked or commented on your profile picture showing off your new haircut and glasses? They didn’t pay for the glasses or pick them out and the same goes for the haircut. They don’t have to wear either!!

My point is that doing something for validation from others or to be liked by others is pointless.

We can never do enough to please everybody and even if we could, why would we even want to?

There is only one person that can give us real validation and that is Jesus Christ. He is the only person in this entire world who we should truly love our life to make sure “likes” us. However, we already know that not only does He like us, but He loves and proved how much when His son died for our sins!!!

Jesus was the only person that ever lived that didn’t sin and did no wrong. Most people didn’t like him and they even had him crucified.

If everyone didn’t like Jesus, who was without reproach surely we don’t think everyone that we meet is going to like us. It’s just not possible.

So before you get caught up next time in how many people liked or commented on your social media post, ask yourself, “Am I doing this for me and because it is something that I love and makes me happy?”

If the answer is no, then change your frame of mind. Don’t let anyone else have the power to validate how loved you are and how special you are.

Unless that person is Jesus!!!!